I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
