operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
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