doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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