Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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