bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize