Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
