So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
How does it feel to date your dad?
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