Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Come share oat with me in your robe
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