you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize