I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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