So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
we made out on top of his cat.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
