My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
