Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
