so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
