While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
