I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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