so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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