i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize