Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
