Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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