I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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