you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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