let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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