Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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