i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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