hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
