do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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