id be glad to
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
