He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
