you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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