I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Who put my cat in the fridge?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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