dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
