erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize