My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
