:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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