i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Randomize
