Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
