So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
All the doctor said was why
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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