My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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