# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
