omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
