What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
