we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
