Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
