There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
