Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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