quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
