S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
