I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
