I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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