I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
