I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
