new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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