Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
