Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I think people are normalizing furries
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