I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
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