I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
