thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
