I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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