I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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