if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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