dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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