and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize