You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
