i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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