you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
