the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
