great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
