So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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