Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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