I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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