So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
