just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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